


if you close your eyes, does it almost seem like nothing's changed at all?

by OverlyCheerfulRat



Category: Lab Rats (TV 2012)
Genre: Brain Damage, Caretaking, Disability, Gen, Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlyCheerfulRat/pseuds/OverlyCheerfulRat
Summary: Adam never meant to hurt him.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	if you close your eyes, does it almost seem like nothing's changed at all?

No one says it out loud, exactly, but Adam can see it in their eyes when they look at him. He can feel it in the way they stop talking when he enters the room, and in the way Leo steps back whenever he gets too close. Your fault, your fault, your fault.

Adam Davenport was a lot of things, but cruel wasn't one of them. He never wanted to hurt his baby brother. They were just playing, just messing around like they always did, and he just... he forgot. Forgot that Chase was smaller than him, forgot how strong he was, forgot to regulate his strength. He shoved Chase, harder than he'd meant to, and when he fell the back of his head cracked against a console, loud and final as his eyes widened for a split second before sliding closed. 

There was blood, everywhere, too much blood. Chase had once told him that head wounds bleed a lot and look worse than they really are, and that was the first thing Adam told Donald when he ran upstairs to get him. "Chase said head wounds look worse than they are, so he's okay, right?" It wasn't the sort of question that inspired confidence. Donald screamed when he saw Chase lying on the floor, and Adam knew it was serious when he didn't stop to ask what had happened.

Later, everyone would ask, and Adam would give the same answer each time: "I pushed him too hard. It was an accident." And they nodded like they believed him, but they stood out of arm's reach. 

It was months before Chase woke up, months of Adam thinking he'd killed his own brother. Douglas was the one who took care of him, explaining that regular doctors wouldn't know how to treat someone with bionics. After a few weeks, though, that excuse no longer worked- he had to remove Chase's microchip, but he still refused to hospitalize him. He was attentive, and he was competent, and Chase was stable before long, but still comatose. Adam stood next to his bed once, next to Douglas, looking at all the wires and tubes and machines keeping his brother alive.

"Why won't you send him to a hospital?" he asked, adjusting the blankets for the fifth time.

"I built him. I know his biology better than the doctors would, and I'm smarter than them," Douglas answered. After a moment, unprompted, he said, "When I built Marcus, I didn't give him a name. I thought, hey, it's just an android, it can't feel anything, right? And then one day he woke up after I recharged him and he called me 'daddy'. I hadn't programmed him to do that, I asked where he picked it up and he said he heard it on TV or something. I gave him a name the next day."

Douglas looked at Chase, still and pale. "I loved Marcus. He was a smart kid, he was talented, he was loyal. And I let him die. He was my son, I built him, and I let him die." He was breathing shakily as he stared at Chase's unmoving form. "I keep thinking he must have been scared, you know? I don't know if... if it was fast. Being crushed to death... I should have gone back for him, but I... I didn't. I don't have an excuse. My son died alone and scared because of my actions." He met Adam's gaze. "And I'll be damned if I let another one of my kids die on my watch."

Chase didn't die, in the end, but only Adam and Douglas were really relieved. Everyone else seemed to think he should have died, that it would have been better that way. It pissed Adam off, the way they looked at him like he was broken or damaged or something. Donald wouldn't even look at him at all.

He was different now, Adam knew that. Chase had always been petite, but now he was frail and cold to the touch and looked like a strong wind might break him. He twitched and moaned at random, and he couldn't walk or feed himself or even talk. The first time he had a seizure, Leo screamed that he was dying, and didn't calm down until the spasming stopped.

Adam was the one who took care of Chase, for the most part. Donald had been against it- he didn't exactly say it, but everyone knew what he was thinking. Adam's the one who hurt him, how do we know he won't do it again? It was Douglas who stepped in and vouched for Adam. "I trust him," he said simply. "What happened was an accident, and I believe that it won't happen again. Let Adam help."

So Adam became Chase's primary caretaker, and Douglas was also there, hovering nervously over his remaining sons. The first time Chase looked at Adam, his eyes held no recognition, just vague, tired confusion. After a few weeks, he smiled when he saw him. "If he can smile, that means he can get better, right?" Adam demanded the first time Chase's lips curved upwards. Douglas just shrugged and muttered something about not getting their hopes up.

Chase couldn't stand on his own anymore, so he had to sleep in a bed instead of his capsule. It was surreal for Adam to watch. Scary, too, because he sometimes stopped breathing when he slept, and had to lie on his side so he didn't choke. Douglas said Chase was "medically fragile". 

The first time he laughed, Adam almost cried from delight. He'd taken Chase outside and sat him on his lap in the grass, figuring it was the easiest way to sit him up. Chase had laughed, suddenly, not at anything in particular. Maybe he was just happy. When Adam told Douglas, he grinned, said it could mean he was getting better.

Adam's idea of getting better meant Chase would be at the same level he was before, but Douglas explained that was never going to happen. "But he could be able to speak, or maybe even regain some motor skills if we're really lucky," he added.

He was right. After a few years, Chase could speak a little. Not much, and not what anyone else in the family considered speaking, but it mattered to Adam. He'd been reading a story to him- something easy, pointing to the words and hoping Chase would repeat or at least understand them- when Chase said, "Ahhhh-uhhhh," looking right at him. 

He made random noises a lot, but this seemed different. "Adam," Adam said slowly. "Can you say Adam?"

"Ahhhh-uhhh," Chase repeated, grinning crookedly up at his big brother. "Ahhhh-uhhhh."

"Right. Adam. Good job," Adam said softly, and Chase laughed.


End file.
